Parenthood!
Most of our friends and family are aware, but March 11, 2012 Stephen and I will be welcoming our first little Wagner into the world. Because we are still far enough away from most of our loved ones that they don't get to be a daily part of the adventure, I thought updating our blog on the happenings of the newest little Waggle would ensure the information was getting out there. So feel free to stop here if you don't need the details, but below is a timeline of the last 13 weeks for our new little family!
July 3rd 2011: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
I had been feeling weird for a couple of days, sore and just generally icky. Our good friend Drew and his girlfriend Cat were in town for the 4th of July, so I had told myself it must be all the excitement. The last time I took a pregnancy test I was really upset when it was negative, so I kept putting it off. Finally, I told Stephen about how I was feeling and he told me that I needed to buck up and take a test. So that morning while everyone slept and Stephen was at work, I took the dreaded test. And this was what I saw...
I cried. And then I waited and took three more. When Stephen came home from work he knew I had took the test, but I hadn't told him the results. All he had to do was look at my face and he knew. It was such a special moment for us. The next week we were going on a cruise with Stephen's family for his Dad's 70th birthday so we had to keep our traps shut until then.
That next week...
Since Stephen's parents' birthdays are just 11 days apart, we decided to get them a baby-themed gift for their birthdays to give to them on the cruise. We picked out these sweet little onesies for both sets of grandparents to be and waited for a day to skype with my parents to break the news.
Since we would be spending the week on a cruise with Stephen's parents, we skyped with my parents a couple days before. I told my parents I wanted to show them a cute outfit I had picked up and brought out the onesie. The look on their faces was PERFECT. I was sure my dad was going to cry. My parents are so supportive and they were just gushing about the new little one. We swore them to secrecy until we could tell Stephen's parents and go to the doctor.
Then our attention turned to Stephen's parents. On our way to Florida for our cruise we shared the last leg of the flight with Stephen's mom and dad. We were all very excited for this trip and Stephen's dad suggested we celebrate with in-flight cocktails. Haha....Stephen and I really had to do some quick talking to get around that one...and my constant need to use the restroom...and the green-ish hue I took on several times during the flight. Somehow we managed to avoid spilling the beans long enough to get into our hotel room and develop a game plan. We had the onesie wrapped and cards ready for Mom & Dad Wagner's "birthday" gift and decided to tell them prior to meeting the rest of the Wagner family for dinner in Tampa.
Stephen asked his parents to read the cards first (which were just happy birthday, we love you types) while I stole their cameras to take pictures. You could tell they both knew as soon as they took that tiny piece of clothing out of the packaging. Stephen's mom just sat their with her mouth wide open for several seconds while Stephen's dad laughed and laughed! After that there was much congratulating, hugging and tears. It was a great way to start our vacation.
The Cruise aka 5 wks pregnant
Allow me to make a recommendation. Do not go on a cruise in your first trimester of pregnancy. All I have to say is Nausea + Sea Sickness. I have never been on a cruise before nor have I been pregnant before so the only way I could've known what was ahead was to experience it myself. Please learn from my experience. It is not great.
We still ended up having a great time though. Stephen's family and especially my wonderful husband were wonderfully helpful to me in keeping my hydrated and distracted while the boat rocked and I attempted to keep my food down. We went through the Western Caribbean and it was absolutely breath -taking. See for yourself!
6 weeks pregnant
After our wonderful vacation, it was back to reality and time for our first doctor's visit. I was really nervous because it was phrased by the receptionist as an either/or situation: if I was pregnant, I would get a vaginal ultrasound and full work up; if not, it would be a normal gyno exam. I was not pleased with this phrasing but remained optimistic.
So at the doctor's office by myself, I provided a "sample" for the official test and waited in an exam room. After what seemed like forever, the nurse told me it was positive! I was relieved and moved into an ultrasound room to change and prepare for the ultrasound and exam. It was my first time meeting my doctor so the anxiety of course shot right back up. Would I like her? Would she be kind and responsive? The list goes on and on.
Dr. Brigger came in and was everything I could hope for. Very sweet, professional and quick. Then it came time for the ultrasound...
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| I'm trying to point at the tiny little heart |
8 weeks pregnant
We had another doctor's appointment at 8 weeks to check the baby's growth and follow up on the results from the battery of tests they ran during my first visit. Stephen came with me. Dr. Brigger did another ultrasound to check the baby's growth and lucky for us, this meant more pictures.
There's our little nugget, swimming upside down. Dr. Brigger kept using the terms "perfect" and "everything looks great" which for me, were big confidence boosters. I looked over at Stephen several times during this ultrasound and the looks of utter amazement were just priceless. When we left the doctor that day, I could tell he felt much like I did that first visit.
Luckily by this time I was no longer feeling nauseous, just exhausted. I seriously count my blessings that I was only tired and didn't have the extra burden of feeling sick. Work was going well and I could manage to get through the day without people noticing a large change in my behavior. Since I was (and am) still new on the job, I wanted to wait to disclose the news until I had finished my first big project to inspire confidence in my manager's that this pregnancy would not hinder my work and that I was fully committed to the institution and to my family.
9-11 weeks pregnant
These weeks went by faster than I expected. I had developed a routine to compensate for my EXTREME exhaustion that I think made everything go by that much quicker. Typically I would keep myself awake at work by walking, eating and drinking constantly (never EVER sitting down) then come home, sleep for 2 hours, make dinner, eat, go to bed. I felt very guilty because Stephen (when he wasn't working) and I hardly had any time together that wasn't being in bed. He was super understanding the entire time, following me to bed at 8:30 and watching TV in our room until I fell asleep.
I was ( and still am) super emotional during these weeks as well. I know that this is very normal during pregnancy, but as a person who is typically very in control of their emotions, this was not a fun surprise for me. Stephen of course got the majority of these crazy pregnancy rantings and again, I felt totally guilty because as soon as words and tears would come, I would realize how insane I sounded and wished I could control it. Again, my husband was so patient and understanding that even though it was rough on the both of us, we managed to get to a level of mutual understanding.
It wasn't all serious and sad though. I had many hilarious emotional outbursts as well. Here are just a few:
- Any time ANY Christmas episode came on TV, I cried, called Stephen and told him I wished it were Christmas.
- I cried at work because a baby "didn't like me" (now keep in mind this was before telling anyone I was pregnant which of course adds to people's perceptions of my crazy)
- At 11 weeks I felt like I was showing (although now I think it might've just been gas). I told Stephen about it and he said "Are you sure you're supposed to be that big right now?" When these words were processed by my crazy pregnant brain it meant that for the next week I spent every free moment googling "11 weeks pregnant first baby" and looking at EVERY pregnant belly I could find with that criteria to ensure that I was NOT fat, faking it, or someone growing a tumor.
At 11 weeks, I felt comfortable enough to tell my supervisors that I was expecting. I was really nervous because of the short time I had been employed, etc. Both my supervisors met my news with genuine excitement and understanding which was such a relief. I really love my job and have no intention of leaving, but I know that women in my field are notorious for becoming "stay at home moms" which is a personal choice every one has to make, but not one I feel ready to undertake. Anyway, I feel very fortunate to have had such a supportive response to my news that a weight seemed to be lifted and I finally felt ready to spread the news far and wide.
12 weeks pregnant
Another doctor's appointment awaited us and once again I was on edge. At my 8 wk appointment, I met with the OB group's insurance coordinator who basically laid out my whole pregnancy, its cost, what our insurance would cover, and our out of pocket expenses. Because I had chosen a group that was in the Texas Medical Center (as is MD Anderson) we share the same insurance and thus the Wagners enjoy an extra little discount for being super in-network. In fact, Stephen was a little surprised at how "little" our baby's care would cost us. Ha. Anyway, this is not why I was nervous. I was told during this meeting what to expect at every appointment, which I diligently noted next to my schedule. So at this visit we were going to try to hear the baby's heartbeat. I had read that 12 weeks was an iffy time to hear the heartbeat and in a couple of weeks it might be easier to find. I knew it would be normal if we couldn't hear it...but crazy pregnancy brain (CPB) would not let me believe it. CPB convinced me that if we didn't here it, something would be wrong.
So at the Doctor's office I began to get more and more nervous... and Stephen could tell. He kept reassuring me everything would be ok. I really adore him for always calming me down and being the voice of reason when CPB kicks in.
Then it was time....
Shirt up, jelly on, doppler positioned. Stephen held my hand and I could feel myself hyperventilating. I couldn't help it. Thank God I was laying down. I began to repeat the mantra "It's normal if they can't hear it. It's normal if they can't hear it..." then as if in reply to this, we heard it! Our little nugget's heartbeat. I just cried and cried. Stephen was smiling like a huge goof. I'm sure the nurse thought we were crazy. I was just so amazed and grateful to hear that little galloping noise and so in awe of the great treasure that Stephen and I are charged with. After the nurse left, Stephen and I just blubbered (well I blubbered, Stephen talked) in amazement of our latest family milestone. Dr. Brigger joined us soon after and said the baby's heartbeat was great at 154 bpm and that we were still looking great.
Stephen took me back to work and we ate lunch in the car. For some reason, those moments after the doctor's appointment and eating in the car were just so special to me. I felt relieved and excited and just loving our family moments. It was an excellent day.
So week 12 ended with me finally showing for reals. For me this was super exciting because from week 10 I wasn't able to fit into my normal clothes and needed a BeBand to hold my pants up until I could get some maternity clothes. Here's the nugget's first belly shot:
